The Haunted Mattress

Our mattress is haunted. I’m convinced. 

Y’all.

This will be a short one because I have SO much going on this week. But this is one of those stories that I can’t make up, meaning I’m obligated to share. 

If you don’t believe in ghosts and spirits and things like that, that’s totally cool – but I do. I saw Ghost with Patrick Swayze as a kid and was instantly sold on all things paranormal. 

So! Story time! 

A month or two ago we bought a new mattress. Long story short, ours was old and just too small. So we bought a brand new King bed and mattress set. 

Brand new. Not some sketchy online purchase. A new mattress, in plastic wrap from a mattress store. 

I assumed that all plastic wrapped mattresses were guaranteed ghost free.

Ever since then weird stuff has happened when we sleep. Really weird. 

One of the first days we had it, I came upstairs to nap. I was asleep on my husband’s side of the bed, lying on my stomach. It was in the evening and I felt someone put their hand on my back, press down and say, “Hey.” 

I totally assumed it was Kenz or Sean waking me up for dinner – but no one was there! 

Even after I was up, the sensation of someone pressing on my back was still physically there.

I played it up to sleep paralysis – which is scary, but ultimately not that uncommon.

But wait, there’s more! 

For the last two nights something has happened with both Sean and I when we sleep. I was woken up by weird noises and sounds and couldn’t get back to sleep on Wednesday night. It was a hollow wind sound, almost like someone breathing. It was such a scary feeling that I felt anxious about falling asleep last night.

Turns out, I slept just fine last night. 

Sean on the other hand, said that someone said “Hey Sean” and it woke him up. So he got up, moseyed around the house to check on things and came back to the very haunted bed. Then as he was falling back asleep, the voice said “I told you it’s time to get up.” 

Clearly our mattress is haunted by a very maternal figure who doesn’t want us to skip dinner or be late for work. So I’m appreciative. 

Or we both have sleep paralysis episodes.

Either way…I’m going to buy some sage and cleanse the house this weekend. Just in case. 

I. Can’t. Make. This. Stuff. Up.

Have a great Friday lovelies! 

The Pre-Teen.

Ya’ll, I am not a perfect mother. Not even close. I can’t even pretend to think that I know all there is to know about parenting.

And parenting a pre-teen boy, or PTB as I like to call them? Well, buy stock in coffee, because at this rate – that’s all that keeps me from doing this on a regular basis –

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Let me give you some insight on what I’ve learned so far on this ‘raising pre-teen boys’ journey.

Showers.
While uninterrupted showers seem like an out-of-reach oasis to us – they’re not that important to pre-teen boys.

I’m convinced that the PTBs have evolved past the point of normal human smell detection, and can no longer compute their own odor.

However, the rest of us can, yet they are completely unapologetic about it.

Style.
Yes, I remember the days of wanting to shop at Deliah’s and Aeropostale for everything. But alas, I had boobs and an ass that could bounce a Toyota Camry into a ditch. So I shopped at more practical places, like Stage and Hot Topic.

But pre-teen boys? Who knows? Who knows what they want to wear?!

Seriously, I’m asking.

They’re at this stage of wanting to have their own style, but still not ready to commit to what that means. So you, as a parent, end up buying this hodge-podge of flannel shirts and things with emojis and obnoxious sayings on them alongside a TON of athletic shorts.

Honestly, I’m convinced that athletic shorts are the PTBs yoga pants.

Sass.
For the love of all that is holy, the sass level is real. Forget a teenage girls, because these pre-teen boys have a level of sass that would put Carson from Queer-Eye to shame.

This is mainly because in PTB world, their little bodies are starting to flood with testosterone and it comes out as pure unadulterated attitude…like Ironman.

And anything can send them into a tangent.

Hair is out of place? Forget it. The sock goes up too high on the left ankle? Nope, not today. Mom doesn’t know who a certain YouTuber is? Get out of their way ma’am, because you’re about to learn.

Girls.
Girls are now on the radar. They have been noticed. There are school dances happening and awkward first kisses, for some. All I can say about this one is this – beware of Axe.

Pre-teen boys equate love with excessive amounts of body spray.

“If I spray it, they will flock to me,” seems to be the going philosophy.

I have been awoken from a dead sleep by the smell of my own PTB bathing in an ungodly scent called “After Hours.” After hours?!? Young man, you are in bed by nine, you know nothing of what happens after hours, nor do you need to smell like it.

See, the body spray industry is partnered with the housing industry. This is because any sane person knows, if you let someone spray in the traditional “X” pattern they recommend on the bottle, you have to either move, or burn your house down. There’s just no coming back from it.

Appetite.
I have a board on Pinterest filled with zombie preparation stuff – not because I’m actually preparing for a zombie apocalypse, oh no. It’s because I’ve had to learn how to hoard food away from pre-teen boys.

They may as well be dinosaurs. Feed them an entire mammal – and in twenty minutes they’re looking for more.

As their legs are growing, they’re hollowing out. That’s the only explanation.
I bought a bag of Doritos once, gone. GONE. Devoured in one sitting by one, singular PTB. I’m vegetarian, and thought stupidly, “I’ll just buy more veggies for myself, because he would never eat those.”

Wrong. Nothing is safe.

And grocery shopping? I can help you with your resume because you’re going to need a second job and maybe even a second mortgage on the house to pay that tab.

Interests.
Ah, yes. Our pre-teen boys are starting to form their own taste in things. This can be anything really, and will absolutely change on a weekly basis, so don’t get too attached to the idea that they’re interested in guitar playing, skateboarding, etcetera.

For example, ‘Trap’ music (I’m still trying to figure out what it is EXACTLY) seems to be the “in” music right now among PTBs.

The always hilarious cat videos from days of yore will still pepper your internet search history, but you’ll notice new things starting to pop up, like ‘parkour’ and ‘how to be a YouTuber.’

This is where you ensure the insurance cards are easily accessible. Parkour never ends well for PTBs who have friends with video cameras.


Gone are the days of the sweet-smelling baby whose face I kissed, and who would hug me in front of his friends. I have entered the world of having a pre-teen boy, one who smells within ten minutes of stepping out of the shower and eats everything in plain sight, including some things I’m not even sure are edible.

But you know, I wouldn’t trade one stinky minute of it.

The journey is always interesting. Always. Enjoy it. Write about it. You’ll look back and laugh…even though right now you may be drowning in Axe body spray and crying into your box of chocolates.

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Friday Favorites #2

Welcome back lovelies, I hope everyone has had a phenomenal week!

This week has been a busy one to say the least – and it’s been super rainy here in North Carolina – which I love! But it makes me want to nap…all the time…like a bear.

Still, I made photos happen, even with clouds and I am so excited to present this week’s Friday Favorites. I am loving this series, so let’s get to it.

1. The Happy Planner

Oh, dear heavenly deity – thank you for this beautiful organizational creation. Amen.

This. planner. is. my. life.

Without it I would be unorganized and unproductive. My addiction to office supplies runs deep, ya’ll and I am really particular about what things I use. Which means I try a lot of different things.

I have always been a pen and paper kind of gal. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate technology and all it has to offer – but there’s something about writing something down that just makes it happen. Which is what makes this planner so amazing…

  • I like to draw.
  • I have ginormous handwriting.
  • I like the idea of scrapbooking and visual journaling…but never really stick with it.
  • I really like stickers. (*Note the Pusheen the Cat sticker below)

The Happy Planner lets me pull all of it into one place – which with my hectic days, I need. I can use stickers and washi tapes and make it my own. I cannot stress how much I love that. Being able to decorate and create is one of the reasons I have stuck with this brand of planner for so long.

There’s so much room for activities!

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That’s a direct quote from the movie Step Brothers which I also adore, FYI.

I love that there is a note section in the lefthand margin. I also love the fact that It breaks each individual day out by morning, afternoon and evening. It opens it up to let me use it for notes, drawing, or to jot down appointments. I realized that when I would use hour-by-hour planners, I would pack my day to the minute and that got really hectic.

But seriously. Can we just look at one more beautiful photo of this thing?

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I really like that in between the months there is a planning section that lets you block for goals, important things, events, etc. and you just have a nice quick month overview.

They are really affordable and come in around $30.00 – which I think is well worth the price you pay.

I could go on and on about this planner and the more I talk about it the more I want to do a future Friday Favorite post dedicated specifically for this planner…which I may do.

Moving onward!

2. Jeffree Star Velour Lipsticks 

Oh my damn.

Have you ever just looked at a lip color and teared up? That’s is what these colors do every single time I look at them. They are SO pigmented. SO velvety going on your lips. JUST. SO…

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PRETTY.

I love that Jeffree puts out vegan products and has a ridiculously wide range of colors. Once these dry matte, they don’t look chalky or clumpy on your lips like some matte lips can. Also, they hold up to eating a burrito, and we all know you can’t do THAT like a lady. So to be able to eat and still have flawless lips is a win.

He also loves Taco Bell and says things like, “You better WORK GIRL,” on his YouTube channel…so basically I was sold on him from the beginning.

Although I’m just now venturing into the crazy lip color world, the Jeffree Star line has a lot of neutral everyday wear colors. Which, as you can see above – is the majority of what I own.

HOWEVER. I’m a sucker for a good red lipstick. Out of all the colors I own – Rich Blood has to be my go to.

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The only sad, sad thing? They are almost always sold out of the one color you want… *cough cough* Gemini *cough cough*

But if you’re patient and follow him on social media, you can catch the release and restock dates of all of his stuff.

Price wise – these are $18.00 per tube, so they are definitely moderately priced, but worth every penny. Like I said before it is SO pigmented that a little bit goes a long way…and did I mention the burrito eating? Because, that.

#3. Mighty Mug Biggie

I am clumsy and I like to drink hot beverages on a regular basis.

One day we were walking through Walmart and I just happened to see this mug on an end cap. It was advertised as ‘spill proof’ and the ‘mug that won’t tip’ or some other fancy-marketing-way of saying “BUY ME NOW, ASHLEY!”

I ended up getting it for Christmas, and let.me.tell.you.something.

It holds up to its claims!

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Magical.

I said magic about the Staedtler pens last week when they didn’t dry out – so do you see a pattern here? I’m a HUGE Harry Potter fan, so when I find muggle things that work like magic – I’m sold.

  • It’s really nicely insulated. I have put coffee in it first thing in the morning, and it survived a drive to work and two meetings before I came back to it. I made the amateur mistake of thinking my coffee would have cooled and burned my tongue instead.
  • It really is budge proof. So long as it is on a flat surface, that isn’t carpet or some weird texture, it won’t be swayed by an accidental bump or table jolt!
  • Supa-dupa affordable. I had to look up the price point because I received this as a gift. It sells on their website today for $19.99.
  • I also started peeking around and they have a ton of different options to choose from, including sizes and styles. So…I may be shopping is what I’m telling all of you. Transparency is key.

If I can not spill liquid fire on myself or ruin a dress or top by ways other than dribbling coffee down my face, which, lets face it – happens more than I care to admit, I call that a win.

If you love these things let me know! If there is something you want me to try or think could be a Friday Favorite leave a comment down below!

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This post is not sponsored. The reviews and photos depicted here are based on personal, not professional, opinion only.