Just Because

On occasion I write a post, just because. Without any point other than to share. This is that post.
There comes a point in life when you have to let the chips fall where they may – I realized yesterday that I am at this point in my journey.

My entire life I dreamt of being a writer. As I grew older, I also realized I had to make a living and pay bills, a rather unfortunate byproduct of adulthood. So writing fell to the back burner on my list of priorities.

Until recently. Something happened when we moved to NC that told me I had to start writing – full time. I started this blog. I got organized. I wrote more than I had in a long time. I looked at long term goals to help me achieve this particular one and made up my mind.

Only not really. I still kept writing as a fluttering afterthought on most days. I even applied for a position that would essentially limit my ability to balance personal commitments and writing. I really wanted that position, until I got word that I wasn’t selected.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. So yesterday, after I second guessed my corporate career, ate brownies, cried and complained for a few hours straight, I sat up and made myself go to writing group.

That was when magic happened. The people in my writing group inspire me every single time I meet with them. This was the moment I needed, the cosmic “click” everyone speaks of. I realized that while a job didn’t work out, my passion for writing and storytelling always worked out for me. The certainty of that future was dependent on me and my motivation, no one else’s.

I made a decision to write. To reach my goal of doing it full time. To allow myself to be creative and passionate and teach others. To share with others and document my journey, my failures and successes whenever I could. But mostly I decided to enjoy the gift I had been given.

My chips are in the air and I’m excited to see where they fall. It’s still exciting to me that brownie-binge inducing failures can generate great motivation. Even if it’s not exactly what you were expecting.

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Mother of three. Writer extraordinaire. Lover of art and music. Consumer of chocolate and wine.

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