I started thinking about the things I want my boys to know about women and by extension, relationships. I journeyed down this particular path after my oldest tiny-human brought home the dreaded permission slip. You know the one, the one that I have to sign allowing permission for the school to teach him about…puberty.
They also teach them about the opposite gender’s reproductive system and body changes, which made me incredibly nervous. Not for the fact that he is going to see boobies along with the dreadful Texas Longhorn-ish photo we all know too well depicting our uteruses; but more because we as women, are so much more complex than our reproductive organs.
There are things I want my boys to know about women that go beyond physical changes. I pride myself on being a mother who teaches my boys to be open minded, emotional, freethinking men. I don’t want them to have a misogynistic view of the world and I don’t want them to feel confused by women or relationships.
And so, in the midnight hours, I started jotting down my list. It grew from my thoughts on women to my thoughts on relationships as well.
- All women are beautiful. It does not matter what size they are or what color skin they have. Repeat after me, all women are beautiful.
- Beauty is also on the inside. Trust me when I say that not everyone has this quality, beware. Guard your heart, but stay open to love.
- Women are not delicate creatures. Women are tough, strong-minded and powerful. It is okay to have powerful women in your life. Encourage them to stay that way and support them, always.
- Women are EMOTIONAL – and that is okay. Remember, it is okay for you to show those same emotions.
- Women are not always right. Admitting that in text on a public forum tastes a lot like crow. You are not always right either. Know when to stand your ground and know when to stop an argument.
- Chivalry will never be outdated. It will always be appreciated so don’t let this wane, even as you grow with another person.
- In relationships you become another person’s rock. But they should also be yours. Supporting one another is key.
- Relationships are hard. Like, really hard. It takes two people working day and night to make it last. Don’t give up on things easily, even if you might want to.
- Lies are lies. No matter how small they may seem, lies and closed doors are toxic to a relationship. Stay open and communicate effectively with one another.
- Be yourself and let your partner be their self. Accept both and remember you can never fully love someone else until you love yourself first.
- One day you will say, “I love you,” to someone other than your relatives. ALWAYS mean it, and NEVER take it for granted. Don’t say it just to say it or because you have nothing else to say…there’s a word for those moments, and it’s supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
There it is. My motherly list of simple things I want my boys to know in these departments. At least these are the things I think are important right now. Like most things in my life, I expect this list to grow and change with the seasons, but for now, this will do just fine.
A bit of additional reading. I read a great article yesterday about the differences between mature and immature relationships (article linked here). I was proud to say that the Hubs and I fell into the ‘mature’ category. Yay for adulthood!